|Before You Say I Do by H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts|
Preparing Your Adult Child for Marriage
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Shortly after our son returns from his deployment, he will be getting married. His wedding is scheduled for June 21, 2014. It doesn’t seem possible. It was only yesterday that we dressed him, wrapped him in a little blue blanket and brought him home from the hospital. This empty nest stage came with no warning. We brought him home, watched him grow and develop into a lively little boy, watched him play ball, grow through elementary school, whiz through middle school and then – just like that – it was graduation day. Then, he joined the National Guard and off he went – all before I had time to blink. Now, he is getting married.
At first I didn’t handle all this very well. I felt cheated and unprepared for this stage in our lives. I’ve settled down a bit now and I’m feeling a little better about things. I decided it would be wise to stop wallowing in my empty nest grief and be a good parent. I knew we needed to prepare our son for the next step – marriage. H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts wrote an excellent Bible Study designed to help young people prepare for a happy, healthy marriage based on Biblical principals.
“Before You Say I Do” is more like a marriage preparation workbook. Couples preparing for marriage are encouraged to dig deeper into their relationship and apply biblical principals to their lives. They study related scriptures and write down answers to thought provoking questions. The study is rich in scripture. Some of the sections take awhile to complete. The couple must take time to read, study, and think about the Biblical foundation for their marriage. In some cases, the couple may discover they lack this vital foundation.
Some of the topics include:
Adjusting to differences in personality and family backgrounds
Developing a deeper, more meaningful spiritual relationship with Christ
Identifying and pin-pointing specific roles as husband and wife
Nurturing relationships with in-laws
A study such as this one is important for young couples, maybe even vital to the success of their marriage. I highly recommend that couples go through the “Before You Say I Do” study. This particular study is designed for the couple, but my husband and I are currently taking our son through it at home. Then, he takes the materials to his fiance and they go through it together.
Going through this study with our son has given us an opportunity to discuss things we might not have discussed otherwise. Our son is the quiet, private type. Sitting down at the dining room table and working through these pages with him has given him opportunities to ask us questions, discuss and dig deeper into scriptures and share our own stories with him. We found ourselves sharing things about our own 23 year long marriage that we might not have felt important otherwise. We have shared serious discussions, light-hearted chats, laughed, and cried together. My husband and I have treasured our times together and we feel we have better prepared him to lead his home the way God intended for him to lead.
If your adult child is planning a wedding, make it your priority as his or her parent to prepare him or her for a successful, God-honoring marriage. If you don’t go through “Before You Say I Do,” then do your research, ask your pastor or another church leader for a recommendation. Choose a good, solid scripture-based Bible Study and go through it with your child.